If you were offended by the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" then this page of Greek American jokes is not for you. If, on the other hand, you sat in a crowded theatre and noticed that there were two waves of laughter for each joke; one before the punch line from those of us raised as First-Generation Greek-Americans (we knew what was coming next and laughed in anticipation); and the second after the punch line from everyone else, you will most likely get a laugh or two here.
You know you are a First-Generation Greek-American if...
During a birthday party, your house is split into two parts. The Americans who talk about politics, and the greeks who talk about who yaiyais favorite is/was. from Metaxia C. in Maryland
You get a frantic phone call to "come over right away because some important mail from the bank was sent" and when you get there it is yet another credit card solicitation!
from Jennie H. in New York
You have to put electrical tape over all the buttons on a remote except for the 3 they should only be touching. from jennie in New York
Do your Americans friends ask why Greek Easter is a week later or more? Short answer: We plan it this way to get candy half price the next day! Or, 'cause candy is half price on Monday. from John P. in Ohio
Did you know the Greeks discovered and named Oklahoma? They were so happy, they got down on their hands and knees, picked up some dirt and said, "oh, kalo to homa, oh kalo to homa." So this morphed into OKLAHOMA! Submitted by Mr. F. Haristoh & T. Kala from Yavvis P. in Ohio
When you go to Greece with one small suitcase and come back with 2 giant suitcases filled with oregano and olive oil for the whole family. from kostantinos in Illinois
Greek names : Mona Hitis, Sue Flaki, Pano Stobanyo, Lou Kaniko, Lou Loudi, Mimi Perazis, Mimi Kratas, Pano Exo, Pano Kato, Pano Pano, Pano Stodomatio, Lou Kouma...there's 100's more !
Did your Yiayia ever ask you if you wanted a "hadokakee" with "moostsarda" or "katchopee" ? And a "congakola" ? from John P. in Ohio
When you had an ear ache, your Yiayia put a clove of garlic behind your ear. And it cured it ! from John P. in Ohio
You know you're greek when you consider "my big fat greek wedding" a non fiction documentary. from Anna in Illinois
Your mother expects you to be like every other "Nikogiroula" in the world. from Vicki D. in Maryland
Your parents pronounce Sandy as Cindy and Cindy as Sandy, and Homefries as Combfries. from Mike T. in Pennsylvania
You get hurt playing as a kid and fall down scrapping your knee. Your mom says I told you not to run fast and hands you a napkin and peroxide. from Mike T. in Pennsylvania
You know you're Greek when you wake up in the middle of the night and pull out a litre bottle to drink some water, and find out it's actually tsipouro! from Vasiliki T. in New Jersey
The waiting room at the hospital was filled with all your relatives, koumbari and friends yet the hospital only permitted 3 visitors per patient. All your visitors managed to sneak in using other patients names and claiming they were related. from Bessie in California
Your Yiayia gets very upset when you do not return the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" plastic containers she sends to you with food in them. from Anonymous in District of Columbia
Went to doctor for hemorrhoids. Said rub greek coffee grinds on it. Next visit in pain at doctor. He says bend over. He looks says I see you are going on a trip in your future. from Maria P. in Florida
Your Grandfather Who Came Over On The Boat At Ellis Island, Calls Your Sister Patsy, "Pepsi" from Basilio P. in California
You go to a bachelor party for your cousin and when the waitress announces she has a phone call for Constantine, half the room stands up! from Constantine V. in Connecticut
You feel guilty that whenever someone comes to your house, even if it's a repairman, you don't have a table filled with fruit and pastries and insist on him sitting down to eat, like your mitera/yiayia always did. from Argyro D. in California
You are surprised when you learn that not every recipe begins with one half pound of melted butter. from George K. in Florida
Your parents drove the long way home from church so they could stop along the highway to pick xorta (χόρτα) for lunch. from Mary V. in California
You are surprised to find your Greek cousins don't understand basic everyday Greek words. Box-ee, Fridigederi, Bang-a, Car-oh, Basee-mo, bicingla, yar-tha. Don't they have those things over there? from George K. in Florida
You find out the soup you had for lunch is really called "lentil soup." You find out cupaki, stampa, and frigereta are not greek words. When going to the airport to pick up yiayia requires the entire extended family even the kumbari. from Sylvia A. in New Hampshire
almost all your uncles are named George. from Vicky in Montana
If you didn't come fast enough when called your Mother or Grandmother would threaten and then throw a slipper at you. from Phillip in California
You forgot to add the names Yorgo/George to the male relatives that EVERY family has. from Richard in Illinois